You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
