I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
