You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
