You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dignity is for republicans.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
