ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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