I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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