What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do vagina's smell?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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