wakey wakey hands off snakey
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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