She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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