How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
