wake up i wanna do it froggy style
no, he came in my armpit
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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