The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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