I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
