ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize