you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
