But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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