do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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