i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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