At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
