NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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