If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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