All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
