woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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