It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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