have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
