Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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