after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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