Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
