Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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