i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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