Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
