I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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