he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize