im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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