When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
