"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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