i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
