i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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