maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
