Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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