why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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