4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
