what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
