Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
