Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
