it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
