my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
