i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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