does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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