She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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