My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize