You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
