I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
