Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
