You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
