Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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