today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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