you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
