I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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