Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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