sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
