I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
