well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
