Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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