I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
