yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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