Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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