I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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